Ways to Stop Your Husband from Yelling at You: Arguments are a normal part of any relationship, but when yelling and name-calling become a habit, it can be very damaging to your marriage. If you feel like your husband is constantly yelling and berating you, it’s time to take action.
Thankfully, there are 28 practical ways to stop your husband from yelling at you. From understanding the root of the problem to setting boundaries and learning to communicate more effectively, these strategies can help you take back control of the situation and make your marriage a healthier and happier one.
With a bit of patience and understanding, you can finally put an end to the yelling and start enjoying your marriage again.
1. Understand the root cause of the yelling
Before you try to stop your husband from yelling, it’s important to understand the root cause of the problem. Yelling can come from a number of different places, including anger, frustration, anxiety, or a lack of communication.
The first step to stopping the yelling is to figure out where it’s coming from. If your husband is yelling because he feels like you aren’t listening to him, it may be a sign that you need to spend more time actively listening to him and less time doing things around the house.
If your husband is yelling because he feels anxious about an upcoming work event, talking through those feelings with you might help. If your husband is yelling because he’s dealing with anger, that’s a different issue.
2. Respect your husband’s feelings and need for space
If your husband is yelling because of anger or frustration, it’s important to respect his feelings and give him space to calm down. While you may want to discuss the issue right away, rushing in to talk it out can make the situation even worse.
If your husband needs a bit of time to cool off, allow him that space and come back to the discussion when he’s ready. It’s important to remember that your husband is not yelling at you because he doesn’t respect you.
He’s yelling because he is dealing with strong emotions and trying to figure out how to express himself.
3. Set clear boundaries and expectations
If your husband has a tendency to yell whenever he doesn’t get his way, it might be because he feels like he has no other way to get his point across. If you and your husband have clear boundaries and expectations, there will be much less room for misinterpretation and misunderstanding.
If your husband is constantly nagging you about doing the dishes, for example, it’s probably because he feels like the house isn’t getting clean enough and he doesn’t know how to express that to you in a way that you understand.
Setting clear boundaries and expectations can help you and your husband avoid many arguments and unnecessary feelings of frustration.
4. Learn to communicate more effectively
If your husband is perhaps dealing with some pent-up frustration or anger, it’s important to learn how to communicate more effectively. Talking through issues as they arise can help you avoid letting frustrations build up until they turn into anger.
If your husband is dealing with pent-up feelings or has a history of anger issues, you may want to consider seeking professional help. You can find a marriage counselor in your area with a quick online search.
5. Acknowledge your husband’s feelings
If your husband is yelling because he is dealing with a lot of pent-up frustration or anger, it’s important to acknowledge those feelings without overly empathizing with them.
Letting your husband vent his frustrations without trying to calm him down can help him get his emotions out and make him feel like he can talk to you like an adult again. If you try to calm him down too much, it can make him feel like you aren’t taking him seriously, which is almost guaranteed to make things worse.
Letting your husband get his feelings out can help him feel like he can come back to the discussion as an equal partner again.
6. Reassure him that you are on the same team
If you and your husband tend to fight a lot over minor issues and play the blame game, it can make him feel like you are against him.
Taking a moment to reassure your husband that you are on his side and want what’s best for him can help him calm down and see the situation from a different perspective. It’s important to acknowledge that your husband is feeling X about situation Y and that he has his reasons for feeling that way.
If a situation has you both feeling frustrated, take a few minutes to cool down before discussing it to avoid getting into a fight.
7. Take responsibility for your own actions
If your husband is yelling at you, chances are there are a number of things that both of you could do better. Instead of focusing on your husband’s shortcomings and making him feel like a failure, take a moment to think about how you could have handled the situation better as well.
It’s easy to blame your husband for all of the issues in your relationship and almost impossible to see your own faults. Taking a step back to acknowledge that there are things you do that contribute to the problem can help you actively work toward solving it together.
It can also help your husband calm down knowing that he doesn’t have to feel like a failure and that both of you can improve.
8. Be willing to compromise
If your husband is yelling because he feels like he isn’t getting his needs met, it’s important to be willing to compromise and meet him halfway. Disagreements are normal, but if one of you is constantly walking away feeling unmet, the problem will continue to escalate.
Acknowledge your husband’s needs without letting him walk all over you and it can help him feel like you are actively trying to work toward a solution together. It can also help your husband calm down and see you as a partner, not an enemy.
9. Avoid escalating the situation
Sometimes arguments can spiral out of control and escalate into screaming and name-calling. If you feel like the situation is becoming too heated, take a step back and try to calm things down before they get out of control.
You don’t have to solve the problem right away and it’s important to avoid letting the situation escalate to a point where neither of you are listening to each other anymore.
Let your husband blow off some steam in a way that doesn’t hurt either one of you, and then take a moment to calm down before trying to discuss the issue again.
10. Ask for help from a marriage counselor or therapist
If you’ve tried all of the above strategies and your husband is still yelling at you, it may be time to seek professional help. Whether it’s a one-on-one couples’ therapy session or joint counseling with both of you present, it can help you and your husband work through the underlying issues that are causing your husband to yell.
It can also help you better understand your husband’s perspective and show him that you are willing to do whatever it takes to improve your relationship. When it comes to how to stop your husband from yelling at you, it can often take two people to solve the issue.
You and your husband both need to be willing to work on your relationship in order to truly make a change. Even if only one of you wants to make a change, it will be a lot harder to do.
11. Talk to your husband about the issue
Communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship, and if you and your husband aren’t communicating effectively, it can lead to resentment, arguments, and, in some cases, even physical abuse.
If your husband yells at you frequently, it might be a sign that you aren’t talking about the issues in your relationship enough. Talking to your husband about the issues in your marriage can be extremely difficult, especially if there is a lot of anger and resentment between you, but it’s the only way to move past the issues and heal your relationship.
Ideally, you should talk to your husband about the issues in your marriage at an early stage, before they turn into something bigger. While it’s never easy to talk about these kinds of things with your husband, you will both be glad you did in the long run.
12. Learn to communicate more effectively
If you are frequently on the receiving end of your husband’s yelling, chances are, you are also doing a lot of the yelling too. This is a common problem in many relationships, but it can be resolved by learning to communicate more effectively.
As communication is the main issue behind most of the arguments in a relationship, if you can learn to communicate better, many of the other problems will also disappear. Communication is not just about what you say, but also how you say it.
Making sure that your tone of voice is calm, not aggressive, can go a long way towards resolving conflicts in your relationship.
13. Find ways to deescalate the situation
Communication is important, but there will be times when you and your husband simply cannot communicate effectively. When you and your husband are yelling at each other, making each other feel heard is next to impossible.
At times like these, it’s important to find ways to deescalate the situation as quickly as possible. While this won’t happen overnight, there are a few practical steps you can take to help you and your husband deescalate the situation more quickly in the future.
First, take a step back and acknowledge that you and your husband are both genuinely trying to solve the problem and that neither of you are doing it on purpose. Next you need to acknowledge each other’s feelings by listening and asking questions.
Finally, you need to suggest an alternative solution to the problem so that everyone can walk away feeling heard.
14. Be aware of your triggers
A lot of times, a husband’s yelling is not just a one-time thing. There are likely underlying issues that need to be addressed.
One possible reason your husband yells at you is because he feels threatened by you in some way. Maybe you do something that triggers him, or he takes his frustrations out on you because he doesn’t know how to handle them.
Whatever the reason may be, it’s important to be aware of your triggers so you can avoid them and prevent an argument from happening in the first place.
For example, if you notice that you and your husband always get into arguments on Friday nights, it might be because you’re both tired from a long week and taking out your frustrations on each other. If you’re aware of the situation, you can take steps to avoid an argument from happening in the first place.
15. Take a break if you need it
If you try everything in your power to stop your husband from yelling at you and it’s still happening, it might be time to take a break from the relationship. Of course, this is not the ideal solution to the problem, but it might be what your marriage needs right now.
Taking a break from your marriage might sound extreme, but it can be a healthy way to give the relationship time to heal and prevent further damage before you decide to get back together.
During this time apart, you and your husband can think about what went wrong and how you can improve on it in the future. During this time, you and your husband should still see each other for things like family dinners and holidays.
You should just make the effort to keep the relationship as low-pressure as possible and avoid discussing relationship issues. Once you’re back together, you’ll have a fresh start and be able to discuss things calmly and rationally.
16. Offer your husband emotional support
Another reason your husband might be yelling at you is because he feels ignored and unappreciated. It’s important to remember that your husband is a person too and that he might have feelings that you don’t know about.
So make sure to offer him emotional support and let him know that you’re there for him when he needs it. Being supportive in your husband’s life can go a long way towards making him feel loved and less likely to take his frustrations out on you.
You can be supportive in a variety of ways, such as by listening to him when he needs someone to talk to, doing things around the house for him when he’s stressed, and showing him appreciation on a regular basis.
17. Show appreciation
While showing appreciation to your husband is great, you don’t want to do it only when he’s upset and you want to calm him down. If you only show appreciation when he’s angry, he might start thinking that you only appreciate him when he yells at you.
Instead, try to show appreciation for the small things that your husband does every day, such as making his favorite meal or putting the kids to bed. When you show appreciation for the little things on a regular basis, you’ll also be more prepared when he’s upset and needs you to be empathetic.
18. Talk calmly
If you’re on the receiving end of your husband’s anger, it can be difficult to find the right words to respond when he’s yelling at you. In these situations, it can be helpful to remember that the yelling is likely not your fault.
Instead, it’s most likely a result of your husband’s feelings or the current situation. When you talk calmly, you let your husband know that you’re listening to what he has to say. It can help to close the space between you and your husband when he’s yelling at you.
This can help you both feel more comfortable and might help your husband calm down if he’s feeling stressed. If you don’t feel comfortable closing the distance between you and your husband, don’t feel like you have to do it.
19. Don’t take it personally
When your husband is yelling at you, it can be easy to take it personally and start wondering what you did wrong and how you can fix it. Instead, try to remember that your husband’s anger has nothing to do with you as a person and everything to do with the situation at hand.
If your husband yells at you, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you or that he doesn’t appreciate you. It just means that he’s having a bad day and that you’re unfortunately the target of his frustrations.
20. Don’t engage in arguments
If your husband is constantly yelling at you, it’s important to remember that you don’t have to yell back at him. Yelling back at your husband will only make the situation worse, and it can actually make things worse for you in the long run.
Yelling back at your husband can make you feel great in the moment, but it can also add fuel to the fire. Instead, try to keep your cool when your husband is yelling at you and find ways to calm him down.
If you’re having a difficult time remaining calm, it can help to take a break from the situation and come back to it later when you’ve had a chance to think things through.
21. Take responsibility for your part in the problem
Yelling is almost never a one-sided problem, and it’s important to recognize that you may also be contributing to the problem. Take some time to reflect on your part in the conflict and ask yourself whether you could be doing something differently.
Some common ways that we unintentionally exacerbate yelling in a relationship include bringing up a problem when your husband is stressed and tired, overloading him with too many problems at once, and taking his yelling personally and getting defensive.
If a lot of the problems seem to stem from the same issue, it might be helpful to seek couples counselling together to explore the underlying cause of the problem and find ways to resolve it once and for all.
22. Choose a time to talk
Sometimes you need to wait for the right time to discuss the problem. This might be when your husband is in a better mood or has had some time to calm down. If he seems especially angry, it might be best to wait a while before having a serious talk.
When the time is right, pick a time to talk where you can have a rational conversation without being interrupted. This will help you have a more constructive and positive discussion.
You might also want to take a break from the issue for a few days and come back to it when both of you have had time to cool off. This can help you approach the conversation with a fresh and more relaxed mindset.
23. Reaffirm your commitment to the marriage
There is nothing more important to a relationship than trust, and when your husband feels like he can’t trust you, he may feel the need to control you.
But trust isn’t something that is earned overnight, and you can’t expect your husband to trust you again after only one conversation. It might take a few weeks, a few months, or even a year or two for his trust in you to fully return.
When your husband yells at you, he’s probably not doing so because he doesn’t appreciate you or because he doesn’t love you. He might yell because he is experiencing a lot of pressure at work, or he might yell because he was yelled at while he was growing up and now he’s transferring those negative feelings to you. Whatever the reason, it’s important that you reaffirm your commitment to the marriage.
24. Stay firm and consistent
Yelling usually escalates if you try to yell back, so when your husband is yelling at you, don’t try to match his volume. Instead, take a deep breath and calmly repeat that you want to talk about the issue, and then wait for him to calm down.
Avoid yelling back, even if you feel like you’re caught in a never-ending cycle of yelling. You don’t want to create a vicious cycle of yelling back and forth, so stay firm and consistent. This doesn’t mean you have to be passive and emotionless, but it does mean you have to be calm and collected, which is a lot easier said than done.
If you find yourself becoming overwhelmed and starting to yell, take a break from the conversation and come back to it once you’re in a calmer state of mind.
25. Agree to disagree
It’s impossible to talk about every single topic until you both come to an agreement. In fact, you might never agree on every single topic, so it’s important to allow your husband to have his opinion while you have yours.
Let go of the need to control the conversation, and instead find ways to agree to disagree. Avoid trying to convince your husband that your way is right, and instead focus on finding common ground and keeping the conversation constructive and positive.
If you feel like your husband is becoming aggressive or is losing control of his emotions, it’s important to step away from the conversation and come back to it when he is calmer.
26. Maintain a positive attitude
If you want to avoid being on the receiving end of an aggressive and angry conversation, you also have to make sure you are not talking negatively about your husband. Try not to focus on the negatives and instead use the opportunity to build your husband up instead of tearing him down.
Instead of saying, “You always come home late and never help out around the house!” try saying, “I know you are very busy at work, but I wish you would come home a little earlier so we could spend more time together.”
With every word you say, you have the chance to build up your husband or tear him down, so choose your words wisely. Even if you feel like you are being attacked or criticized, be the bigger person and let go of your need to defend yourself.
27. Don’t be defensive
When your husband is yelling at you, it can be very easy to get defensive and start yelling back. Unfortunately, this only makes the situation worse and makes it harder to solve the underlying problem.
If you feel like you are becoming defensive during the conversation, take a deep breath and try to collect your thoughts before responding. This can be difficult, especially when you feel like your husband is attacking you, but it’s important to stay calm and collected.
Find ways to agree with your husband and avoid getting defensive. For example, if your husband says, “You always take too long in the bathroom,” you could say, “Hmmm. You might be right. I’ll try to be quicker next time.”
28. Show empathy
When your husband is yelling at you, it’s easy to get caught up in your own feelings and forget that he might be dealing with a lot of pressure and emotions that are making him lash out at you.
Instead of responding to his yelling with more yelling, try to empathize with your husband and understand where he is coming from.
Even if you disagree with his point of view, there is a way to express your feelings without attacking him.
For example, if your husband yells at you for spending too much time on the computer and not helping out enough around the house, you could respond by saying, “I know you are feeling frustrated, and I want to help more.
But I’m working on a really important project for school right now, and I really need to finish it. I’m really sorry.”
By following the above 28 tips, you can end the cycle of your husband yelling at you. When you communicate with each other in a calm and respectful manner, even in times of disagreement, you can resolve any issues that come up and keep your relationship healthy and happy.
There may be times when you feel like you’ve done everything you can to stop your husband from yelling at you and it still happens, but that doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means that your relationship is human and normal and it takes time to work through the issues.