The online dating world is fast-paced and dynamic, which means there are always new trends emerging and old ones coming back again. One of the most popular ways to find love these days is by joining a dating site that caters to finding you a partner based on different criteria. One of the most popular sites for daters right now is Facebook.
There are many different dating apps available on this platform, but they all follow the same general principle: They let you reveal as much or as little about yourself as you want while allowing you to scope out potential suitors within your network.
Unfortunately, not everyone who joins these sites knows what they’re doing from the get-go. We’ve compiled a list of some common mistakes people make when using Facebook dating sites so that you don’t fall into the same traps.
You Don’t Set Clear Goals
This is true of all online dating – but it’s especially true of Facebook dating because the category is so broad. Are you looking for love? A fling? A long-term relationship? Do you have children?
Are you only interested in people of a certain ethnicity or socioeconomic status? Part of the problem with Facebook dating is that you’re not really sure what you’re looking for until you find it.
Having a clear idea of what you’re hoping to get out of your dating experience is critical to your success. You can’t expect to find what you’re not looking for. If you’re not sure what you’re looking for, take some time to think about what you want out of a relationship.
Don’t reveal too much about your personal life
First things first: Don’t lie. You don’t want to get caught in a lie and risk having someone discover the truth about who you are and what you’ve done. But you don’t want to share everything about yourself either.
There are a few reasons for this. For starters, you don’t want to scare people away. No one likes a downer or someone who is overly pessimistic about their own life. You also don’t want to reveal too much about your personal life because it gives someone the opportunity to research you.
If you reveal that you are a stay-at-home parent of three who recently went through a messy divorce, someone might search for you online and find that article you wrote for your college newspaper. You don’t want someone seeing that and judging you on something that happened decades ago.
Don’t be afraid to scroll
One mistake people make when they start using Facebook dating is that they dive right in, looking at every single person on the site. That’s fine if you have a couple of hours to kill, but you’re probably not going to find a lot of good dating candidates that way. You need to let the app do what it’s supposed to do – find you people you might be interested in.
If you start browsing from the get-go, you’ll probably just see people you already know. The app will let you know who you may know in your feed, but you’re probably not going to be interested in them as potential dates. What you need to do is let the app do its thing. Let it find people you wouldn’t have found otherwise. And then you can start browsing around.
Don’t be a creep
Some people might disagree with this – but Facebook is an online dating site. You are meeting people online. If you are looking for love, there’s nothing wrong with that, but try to keep it in mind that you are looking for love online.
Don’t be overly creepy or weird. There are a lot of people on these sites that are just looking for a casual hook-up. They aren’t expecting anything serious. But there are a lot of people who want something serious and long-lasting as well. Just keep that in mind. Don’t send someone a message that is overly sexual.
Don’t send someone a message asking them to come to your house right now. Don’t send someone a message that is too long. Don’t send someone a message that is too short. Don’t send someone a message that is too weird. Don’t just post things on people’s walls without them knowing.
Don’t send messages to people that are clearly just looking for friends. Don’t comment on things you know someone wants you to comment on just because you want to start a conversation. Don’t post creepy pictures or videos on someone’s wall.
Don’t just browse – talk to people!
One of the easiest mistakes to make on Facebook dating is to only look around and not talk to anyone. This is probably because you’re a little too scared to actually talk to someone – but it’s important that you get past that fear. You can’t expect to find love unless you actually talk to someone.
This sounds overly simplistic, but it’s true. You need to talk to people; you need to see if there’s any common ground between you. And you really only have two options: You can either start a conversation with the person on your wall, or you can send them a message. The method you choose depends on you and the person you’re talking to.
If you’re talking to a friend of a friend, you can probably just leave a comment on their wall. If you’re talking to a stranger, you’ll probably want to send them a message.
Be wary of people who want to immediately meet in person
This happens a lot on dating sites. Someone sees you and immediately wants to meet up in person. This could be because they’re interested in you, but it also could be because they’re scoping you out.
It could be that they’re a creep and they’re trying to see if you have any friends or family around who might be able to recognize them. It could be that they’re trying to get information from you so they can steal your identity or take advantage of you in some way.
It could be that they’re a member of a gang and they want you to bring them something. Whatever the reason, it’s probably not a good idea to meet someone who seems so eager to meet you immediately.
Don’t disclose too much information about your job or education
You don’t want to lie about your job or education, but you also don’t want to give people too much information. This can be used against you. If you work in a dangerous field and are hoping to find love on a dating site, you probably don’t want to disclose that you work as a firefighter or a police officer.
If you want to find love with a fellow teacher, you probably don’t want to disclose that you work in the public school system. If you have a Masters Degree, you don’t have to disclose that you went to a community college.
If you want to date someone who has an interest in similar subjects, you don’t have to disclose that you slacked off in high school and barely graduated. If you want to date someone who makes a lot of money, you don’t have to disclose that you work a low-paying job.
Dating sites are meant to be places where you can be yourself, but they’re also places where you can meet people who have a lot in common with you. You can do that without disclosing too much information.
Keep track of the people who interest you and why
This is another thing that a lot of people don’t do, but it’s important. Take notes on the people you’re interested in. If someone sends you a message and you’re not interested in them, don’t just ignore them.
Write down why you’re not interested in them. Are they too old? Too young? Do you not like their picture? Do they have kids and you’re not interested in dating someone with kids? Are they in the process of a divorce? Do they have a mental illness? Do they drink too